Is it permissible for a Muslim to slaughter an Aqeeqah on behalf of someone else, and offer it to him as a gift?
In principle, the guardian is the one who should offer the Aqeeqah (the sheep slaughtered on the seventh day from the child`s birth) because he is obliged to provide for the newborn, and it is impermissible for anyone else to slaughter it on his behalf unless with his consent. However, it is permissible for a person to offer the sheep, or its price as a gift to the guardian of the newborn, and then the latter can slaughter it, or deputies someone else to do that on his behalf.
Is it permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer?
Yes, it is permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer.
Does touching one's wife invalidate ablution?
Touching the wife according to the Shafi'ee's doctrine invalidate husband's ablution. And Allah Knows Best.
A person vowed to slaughter a sacrificial animal. Is he permitted to eat from it?
If the vowed sacrificial animal was for the sake of Allah, and the one who vowed didn't specify then its meat should be distributed only among the poor and needy similar to distributing Zakah of Al-Fiter so neither him nor his dependents permitted to eat from; however if his vow was to made a banquet and invititing his relatives and others; then he must bring up as much as he can from its meat for them. In addition, he is permitted to eat from it in a reasonable basis. And Allah Knows Best.