What should the one performing the slaughter say at the time of slaughtering the 'aqīqah?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is Sunnah to say the following supplication at the time of slaughtering the 'aqīqah:
"Bismillāhi wallāhu Akbar, Allāhumma laka wa ilayka, hādhihi 'aqīqatu fulān."
("In the name of Allah, and Allah is the Greatest. O Allah, this is for You and unto You — this is the 'aqīqah of [the child's name].")
This is based on what al-Bayhaqī narrated in Al-Sunan al-Kubrā (Vol.9/P.511), that the Prophet ﷺ said: "Slaughter it in his name and say: In the name of Allah, and Allah is the Greatest. O Allah, this is for You and unto You — this is the 'aqīqah of so-and-so."
And Allah Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for the wife to give the Zakah (obligatory charity) of her money to her poor husband?
Yes, it is permissible for the wife to give from the Zakah of her money to her poor husband. And Allah Knows Best.
Is fasting obligatory for a child?
Fasting is not obligatory for a child until they reach puberty. Puberty is determined by well-known signs, the most common of which are: nocturnal emission (for both males and females), menstruation (for females), or reaching the age of fifteen lunar years.
A guardian must instruct their children to fast once they reach the age of discernment, which is around seven years old, if they are capable of fasting.
What is the ruling on giving Zakah (obligatory charity) to one`s relatives?
It is impermissible to pay Zakah to one`s origins (parents and grandparents) because providing for them is an obligation on their branches (sons and daughters) if they were poor, but it is permissible to give some of the Zakah money to relatives whose provision isn`t due on the giver of the Zakah.