Who is responsible for performing the aqiqah?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
The one upon whom the 'aqīqah is incumbent is whoever is obligated to financially maintain the newborn — whether the father, paternal grandfather, or mother. It is to be performed from their own wealth, not from the wealth of the newborn child.
As for one upon whom the financial maintenance of the newborn is not obligatory, they may not perform the 'aqīqah except with the permission of the one upon whom it is obligatory — namely, the father. And Allah Almighty knows best.
When is Istikharah (guidance prayer) Du`a offered, before Tasleem (saying asalamu alikum warahmatu allah wa barakatuh to end the prayer), or after it?
It is offered after Tasleem.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
Is it permissible to include others in the reward of one`s sacrifice?
In the Name of Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible for the person offering an Udhiyah (sacrificial offering) to include others in the spiritual reward of the sacrifice. However, it is not permissible for multiple people to jointly share the purchase price of a single sheep or goat, unless one person gifts the money to the other.
It is stated in Mughni al-Muhtaj (6/137) by Al-Khatib al-Shirbini:
"If a person includes someone else in the reward of his sacrifice and slaughters it on his own behalf, it is permissible."
It should be carefully noted that including someone else in the reward of one's sacrifice is completely distinct from offering a sacrifice on behalf of someone else. And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.