I`m a mother of three orphans. Is it permissible for me to spend on myself from their salary, such as buying a Jilbab*?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is permissible to take a reasonable amount that is equal to your services to them. However, it is better that you don`t. The evidence on this is that Almighty Allah Says (What means): "Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is God in taking account." [An-Nisa`/6]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* A full-length outer garment, traditionally covering the head and hands, worn in public by some Muslim women.
Is it obligatory for a wife who has been abandoned for many years to observe the waiting period (iddah) after her husband passes away?
If her husband passes away, the wife is required to observe the waiting period (Iddah), even if he had abandoned her, because she is his wife and inherits from him, so she must observe the iddah after his death. And Allah Knows Best.
The supplication: "O Allah, we do not ask You to avert the decree, but we ask You for kindness in it." Is this Supplication Halal or Haram?
We are obliged to supplicate Allah, so when supplicating we comply with Allah's Ordainments, and making supplications that are reported in the authentic texts is better. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible to repeat the Istikhara (seeking guidance) prayer, and is it a condition that one should sleep after offering it?
All perfect praise be to Allah,The Lord of The Worlds Istikhara is offered once, but it is permissible to repeat it, and sleeping after offering it is not a condition for its validity. And Allah Knows Best.