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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

My father passed away, and he had life insurance with "Alico" for an amount of 12,500 dinars. He had paid premiums totaling 2,000 dinars. The insurance company paid us the insured amount. Should we take it, or is it considered forbidden (haram) money? And what should we do with it if it is forbidden?

You may take the amount your father paid to the company. The remaining amount is not yours. However, if you must take it, then accept it and donate it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.

Is it permissible for a woman in her waiting period (Iddah) after her husband's death to leave her house and mix with non-Mahrams?

It is not permissible for a woman in her waiting period (Iddah) after the death of her husband to leave her house except for a necessity, such as for medical treatment, nor is she allowed to mix with non-Mahrams. A woman is not permitted to mix with anyone other than her husband or Mahrams, whether she is in her waiting period or not. However, there is no harm in accepting condolences from those who visit and responding to their inquiries about her well-being. And Allah Knows Best.

Is it permissible to pay the Fitr Zakah (obligatory charity) of Ramadan on behalf of a dead person?

The Fitr Zakah of Ramadhaan isn`t due on one who had passed away before the sunset of the last day of Ramadan. And Allah Knows Best.

Is it permissible for me to make up for my late father`s missed fasts? and should I make an intention to this end by saying: "I intend to make up for my late father`s missed fasts?

It is permissible to fast on behalf of the deceased father in order to make up for his missed fasts, and you should make the intention for offering fast from night time, but uttering the intention isn`t a condition. And Allah Knows Best.