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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for a father to divide his property amongst his children except one under the pretext that he has paid for the latter`s tuition? This is knowing that his other children were given the opportunity to pursue their education but didn`t because they were educationally poor. Moreover, is he allowed to give his other children who have helped him with growing his business?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May Allah`s peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
The father should be just between his children as regards gifts, in case they had similar circumstances. However, if any had a special merit, then it is permissible for the father to take that into account to be just. For example, giving his children who have helped in making his fortune and received no reward for that or giving the little ones because they haven`t taken as much as the older ones or giving the sick child who is unable to make a living. The most important thing is achieving justice. Moreover, the father is not interdicted by any of his children, and he is free to do whatever he wants with his money and Allah will call him to account as regards observing justice between his children. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Is the Woman wearing an Islamic veil permitted to uncover the veil in front of her brother in law, husband of paternal uncle`s daughter and husband of sister in law?  

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
 
The punishment for Zina (Adultery and extramarital relations) is the same for men and women: 100 lashes for the unmarried to be witnessed by a group of the believers. Definitely, this person has incurred the wrath of Allah; however, he must make repentance immediately, refrain from this grave sin, and seek Allah`s forgiveness. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

My husband told me that he concluded our marriage with a fake name that belongs to another person, because he was sentenced. Nowadays, he brought an ID, passport and birth certificate with the his current name. What is the ruling on being married to him?

praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.

As regards being married to the person mentioned in your question: The marriage is valid so long as he was the same person your guardian concluded the marriage with, even if he changed his name i.e. if your marriage contract was concluded with the same person, since what counts regarding marriage is the persons not names. And Allah Knows Best.

 

What should a woman who is in a state of menstruation, or confinement do if she became ritually pure during the day of Ramadhaan ?

If she became pure during the day time of Ramadhaan, it is desirable for her to fast the rest of that day, and to make up for it along with the days that she had missed due to menstruation.