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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for one to shake hands with his uncle`s daughter?

No, it isn`t because he is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to her.

My father placed shares worth twenty dinars in one of the banks, and their value doubled to become five thousand dinars. When my father passed away, one of the scholars told us that it is permissible for us to take the money. What is the ruling on this money, considering that it comes from a bank and involves interest (Riba)?

Allah The Almighty Said (What means): "And if you repent, then for you is the principal of your wealth. You do not wrong, nor are you wronged." [Al-Baqarah/279]. This is the precautionary ruling regarding what you are asking about. You are entitled to the principal amount, and you should give the excess as charity to the poor and needy. If you are poor, you may take from it. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

What is the difference between Tahajjud prayer and night prayer, and do they have a particular Witr prayer other than that of Isha (evening prayer)?

Tahajjud and Qiyam-Al-Lail (night prayer) are two words for the same meaning which is offering voluntary prayer at night after sunset, but before dawn break. However, Tahajjud is offered after waking up; whereas, Qiyam-Al-Lail is permissible before sleeping, or after it. Therefore, every Tahajjud is a Qiyam, but not every Qiyam is a Tahajjud. Moreover, there is no specified Witr for both of them, but Witr after Isha is by itself the Witr of Qiyam, and it is a Sunnah to postpone it until after Qiyam if the worshiper thought that he was most probably going to wake up in order to offer it, but if he wasn`t sure of waking up, then he is at liberty to offer it before going to bed as was reported in the Prophet`s Hadith.

I have concluded my marriage contract at a Sharia court; however, one day I was talking to my fiancée over the phone and she got on my nerves leading me to utter one divorce. This is knowing that I can`t tell my her father because he is very strict and will not accept that at all. What is the best course of action that I should pursue in this situation?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
When divorce takes place before the consummation of marriage it is called Ba`in divorce* (Minor irrevocable divoce), so your wife is considered unlawful to you until you conduct a new marriage contract and pay Mahr* , and you should visit the Iftaa` Department in order to know the correct Fatwa. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

* Minor irrevocable divorce Talaq Al-Ba'in Binona Soghra: It is a divorce where the husband cannot take his ex-wife back unless with her consent, conducting a new marriage contract and paying new bridal wealth Mahr.

* In Islam, a Mahr is the obligation, in the form of money or possessions paid by the groom, to the bride at the time of Islamic marriage. While the Mahr is often money, it can also be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a dwelling or some land.