Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
What is the ruling on memorizing the Quran during menstruation, knowing that I do not read directly from the Quran but from a paper or from my phone?
It is not permissible to memorize the Quran during menstruation because memorization requires repetition, and a menstruating woman cannot touch the physical pages of the Quran. Similarly, if the Quranic verses appear on the screen of the phone, it is considered like touching the Quran. And Allah Knows Best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it permissible to pay the Zakah to my grandmother who lives alone in a rented accommodation with bad conditions noting she had three sons.
Zakah cannot be given to ascendants (parents and grandparents). It is obligatory for her sons and grandsons to provide for her, and they would be sinful if they fail to do so. And Allah Knows Best.