All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Marital relationships are founded upon affection, mercy, and honorable companionship, with mutual respect between the spouses. Allah the Almighty says {what means}: "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.." [Ar-Rum/21]. Therefore, it is incumbent upon both spouses to be conscious of Allah and to strive to nurture a spirit of intimacy and love, fostering affection so that each may find peace, comfort, and tranquility with the other.
A wife's obedience to her husband is obligatory, within the bounds of obedience to Allah. Allah the Almighty says {what means}: "Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what God would have them guard." [An-Nisa'/34]. It is narrated from 'Abd al-Rahman ibn 'Awf, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "When a woman prays her five [daily prayers], fasts her month [of Ramadan], guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: 'Enter Paradise through whichever of its gates you wish.'" [Narrated by Imam Ahmad in his Musnad].
Thus, a wife must obey her husband and comply with his commands, provided they do not involve disobedience to Allah. Moreover, she should be aware of the immense right her husband holds over her. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate to her husband, because of the great right Allah has given him over her." [Narrated by Abu Dawud in his Sunan].
A wife who disobeys her husband in matters that constitute his right over her is disobeying her Lord and is considered 'disobedient' (nashiz). Disobedience (nushuz) also includes the wife leaving the marital home without her husband's permission and without a legitimate excuse approved by Islamic Sharia. Legitimate justifications include illness, provided the wife does not intend her departure as an act of disobedience. Other justifications involve the husband's mistreatment, abuse, or causing her harm such that she fears for her safety. Sheikh al-Islam Zakariya al-Ansari, may Allah have mercy on him, stated: "Her [the wife's] leaving her husband's house for travel or other reasons without his permission is an act of disobedience. This does not apply if she leaves for fear of the house collapsing or similar danger, or if she is removed from a place other than the husband's house, or if she goes out to seek a religious verdict when her husband cannot do so on her behalf, or to visit or visit her parents or other close relatives, provided it is not intended as disobedience and the husband is absent, or for similar permissible reasons such as seeking her rights from him. This is not considered disobedience due to her valid excuse." [Asna al-Matalib, Vol.3/P.434].
Furthermore, Jordanian Personal Status Law No. (15) of 2019, Article (62), states: "If a wife is disobedient, she is not entitled to financial maintenance (nafaqah), unless she is pregnant, in which case maintenance is due for the pregnancy. A disobedient wife is defined as one who leaves the marital home without a legitimate justification approved by Islamic Sharia, or prevents the husband from entering her home before he requests her relocation to another house. Legitimate justifications for her leaving the residence include: the husband harming her, mistreatment, or her not feeling safe concerning her person or her property."
We also remind that it is obligatory for the husband to be conscious of Allah in his treatment of his wife and household. He should strive to avoid anything that causes discord within the family, treat his wife well, avoid oppressing her, fulfill her rights, and refrain from ill treatment. Let him remember the hadith of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, narrated by Al-Tirmidhi from Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him: "The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives." In addition, his saying, peace and blessings be upon him: "The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family." [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi].
Moreover, anyone who assists, incites, or encourages a wife to disobey her husband and corrupts her against him commits a sin. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "He is not of us who instigates a woman against her husband or a slave against his master." [Narrated by Abu Dawud in his Sunan]. Imam al-Munawi, may Allah have mercy on him, explained: "('Instigates' meaning) deceives her and corrupts her. ('Is not of us') meaning not upon our way, nor among those who act according to the laws of our Shariah." [Fayd al-Qadir, Vol.6/P.123].
Our advice to both spouses is to employ dialogue between themselves. Each party should strive to earn the other's pleasure, as this is the goal and objective. This approach is more likely to prevent the eruption of discord and dispute within the family. There is no harm in involving righteous and conciliatory individuals to mediate between them. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
