A young man who works for a conventional bank has proposed to me. Is it forbidden to marry him because he works there?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Since the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so there will be temptation in the earth and extensive corruption."
Marrying such a person is permissible because he is a Muslim, and Allah may bless him with another job in which no usury/interest is involved. And Allah The Most Exalted Knows Best.
Is it permissible to pay the expiation of an oath to a charitable party as it feeds the poor and needy such as Tkiyet Um Ali?
There is no harm on authorizing someone to handle the expiation of another to the poor and needy, since Shafiee's jurists stated that authorizing someone for the purpose of distributing Zakah, expiation and vow is permissible as stated in [Mughni Al-Muhtajj,vol.3/pp.237]. At last, the intention of the person who intends to authorize someone else suffices in this regard. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law?
It is forbidden for the woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law because he isn`t a Mahram (unmarriageable) of hers.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.