Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it obligatory for a wife who has been abandoned for many years to observe the waiting period (iddah) after her husband passes away?
If her husband passes away, the wife is required to observe the waiting period (Iddah), even if he had abandoned her, because she is his wife and inherits from him, so she must observe the iddah after his death. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible to offer mandatory prayer while sitting?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions. Standing up is a pillar in the mandatory prayer and the prayer is not valid without it unless one cannot do it. As for Nafila (supererogatory prayer), one can perform it in the state of sitting even if he/she can stand, but his/her reward is half the reward of the person who prays while standing if he/sh has no legal excuse for such an act. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law?
It is forbidden for the woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law because he isn`t a Mahram (unmarriageable) of hers.