What is teh ruling on thoughtless oath?

One who swears by Allah unintentionally and isn`t determined to fulfill his oath, nothing is due on him. Allah, The Almighty, Says (What means): "God will not call you to account for thoughtlessness in your oaths, but for the intention in your hearts; and He is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing." [Al-Baqarah/225]. However, it is dispraised for a Muslim to swear frequently.

Is it obligatory for a wife who has been abandoned for many years to observe the waiting period (iddah) after her husband passes away?

If her husband passes away, the wife is required to observe the waiting period (Iddah), even if he had abandoned her, because she is his wife and inherits from him, so she must observe the iddah after his death. And Allah Knows Best.

Is wearing a cap permissible for boys, or girls?

All Perfect Praise is due to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds.

In principle, anything is permissible sol long as there is no Sharia evidence prohibiting it, thus wearing the cap by boys is permissible as long as it isn`t done in imitation of the disbelievers. Moreover, a Muslim woman should avoid all that which attracts the attention of men because whatever leads to the forbidden is forbidden. And Allah Knows Best.

Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?

No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.