Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?

Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.

Does fasting on behalf of a deceased person permissible?

Fasting on belhaf of a deceased person is permissible, since the Prophet (PBUH) said: "Whoever dies while he still has some fasts to make up (of the days of Ramadan), then his heir (any of them) should fast on his behalf." [Agreed upon]. The previous answer is for making up missed obligatory fasts on behalf of the deceased. But if the fasting on behlaf of the deceased was for performing  a voluntary acts of devotion such as fasting....is permissible as adopted by the majority of Muslim scholars and based on the above hadith as they stated "Every good dead intended to be on behalf of the deceased its reward will reach the latter." And Allah Knows Best.  

Is it a condition that a woman should untie her locks while making Ghusl (ritual bath)?

Ghusl from Janabah (ritual impurity), or menstruation obligates that water reaches the roots of the hair in order for the Ghusl to be valid, but if it doesn`t, then hair locks must be untied for water to reach them, and for Ghusl to become valid.

I missed fasting 30 days of the obligatory fast within the last 6 years and 20 days. How do I fast? And what should I do?