I have been married for five years. My husband has two sons from his first marriage. Nevertheless, I took care of his children, and gave birth to a baby boy who is now three years old. Unfortunately, we keep fighting all the time; sometimes over his two sons and sometimes over his family. If I serve his family members and praise them, he treats me kindly. If I don`t, he turns my life into living hell. What should I do?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.
Spouses should live with each other on a footing of kindness and equity. In your case, constructive dialogue is the best course of action. We advise you to be patient, commit your affair to Allah and ask Him to help you. We also recommend that you seek the help of the people of goodness and make them fix things between you and your husband. If all attempts for reconciliation fail then go to court, but we remind you that a problem, which could be solved with a beautiful word, is no problem at all, so praise family and children and try your best to win their hearts. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
If the fasting of nine years has accumulated upon me, I wish to make them up by dividing them over several years, as it is difficult to fast them all in one year due to their large number. Consequently, expiation will be due on me. Is it permissible to pay the expiation after completing all the make-up fasts, even if it takes years?
If the fasting was broken due to a valid legal excuse, it is permissible to divide the make-up fasts over several years based on one’s ability. However, if a person passes away before completing the make-up fasts, the heirs must fast on their behalf or feed one needy person for each missed day.
If the fasting was broken without a valid excuse, one must hasten to make it up. Should the person die before completing the make-up fasts, the heirs must either fast or feed the needy on their behalf. As for the expiation, it is calculated after completing all the make-up fasts. And Allah Knows Best.
I have asked a marriage official to conclude my marriage since I have no proxy and, being an adult, I can act as the proxy of myself, but he refused. What should I do?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May Allah`s peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
In order for a marriage to be valid there must be a Wali (Guardian) for the woman: father, brother, paternal uncle or any paternal relative. If there isn`t any, then the judge can act as the woman`s guardian and conclude the marriage contract. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
