What is the torment of the grave?
We seek refuge in Allah from the torment of the grave. The important point is that the cause of the torment of the grave is disbelief or committing sins without repentance. It affects the soul, and the body is impacted by it, even if we do not see it. And Allah Knows Best.
What is the ruling on having brotherly ties between a strange man and a strange woman, and is the former considered a Mahram (unmarriageable) to the latter?
Such a relation between a strange man and a strange woman is forbidden in Islam because it involves forbidding what Allah has allowed by marriage, and allowing what Allah has forbidden such as looking and the like. Such a relation doesn`t render any act lawful between them, thus they are forbidden to look at each other, have a Khulwah (seclusion), and travel together.
Is Iddah (waiting period) incumbent on an old woman whose husband had died?
Upon the death of the husband, Iddah is incumbent on the wife regardless of their age. And Allah Knows Best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.