Should water be put in the deceased`s mouth and nose while washing him/her?

Putting water in the mouth and nose of the deceased while washing him is impermissible.

Do certain vaginal discharges and incontinence of urine nullify ablution, and should underwear be changed?

A person afflicted with constant impurity due to urinary incontinence and vaginal discharges is obliged to make ablution for every obligatory prayer when its time is due, and after removing Najaasah (impurity), and wearing a clean diaper. He/she is obliged to pray immediately even if the impurity is being released, and he/she is obliged to remake ablution, and the aforementioned for every obligatory prayer.

After I had prayed, I found a drop of menstrual blood and was unsure when that happened; what is the ruling on my prayer and fast?

All praise is due to Allah, peace and blessing be upon the Messenger of Allah.

Your prayer and fast are correct ,and you should not make up for them, and we ask Allah, The Almighty, to duely reward you for these acts of worship. Your menses start once you see blood because the situation remains as such unless there is certainty or predominant conjecture, as per the Fiqh maxim: "Certainty is not removed by doubt". And Allah Knows Best.

Is it incumbent on a family to provide for its old handicapped son and take care of him?

The family and relatives - e.g. brothers - of such a person are obliged to spend on him and take care of him if he didn`t have money of his own.