Is it valid for the 'aqīqah to be performed using the newborn child's own wealth?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is not permissible for the guardian to perform the 'aqīqah using the newborn child's own wealth, because the 'aqīqah is a voluntary act of giving (tabarru'), and a guardian is prohibited from making voluntary expenditures from the child's wealth. Should he do so, he becomes financially liable for what he spent. And Allah Almighty knows best.
Is it Sunnah to cook the meat of the 'aqīqah?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is Sunnah not to distribute the meat of the 'aqīqah raw. Rather, it is recommended to cook it with something sweet — such as raisins or honey — as a good omen and expression of hope for the sweetness of the newborn's character and conduct throughout their life. And Allah Almighty knows best.
Is the son of the sister by breastfeeding considered a mahram in Islam, and is it permissible for a woman to go for Hajj with him?
Everything that is prohibited by lineage is also prohibited by breastfeeding. The son of the sister by breastfeeding is considered a mahram, just like the son of the sister by blood, and it is permissible for him to be her mahram for Hajj and Umrah. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.