Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
I`m a mother of three orphans. Is it permissible for me to spend on myself from their salary, such as buying a Jilbab*?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is permissible to take a reasonable amount that is equal to your services to them. However, it is better that you don`t. The evidence on this is that Almighty Allah Says (What means): "Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is God in taking account." [An-Nisa`/6]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* A full-length outer garment, traditionally covering the head and hands, worn in public by some Muslim women.
Is it permissible for a husband to stop his wife from visiting her family?
A husband shouldn`t stop his wife from visiting her family, and it is disliked for him to do so because such an act makes them harbor feelings of hatred against him.
Is it permissible for the wife to give the Zakah (obligatory charity) of her money to her poor husband?
Yes, it is permissible for the wife to give from the Zakah of her money to her poor husband. And Allah Knows Best.