What is the ruling on someone who vowed to fast for two consecutive months, but failed to do so?
He is obliged to fulfill his vow by fasting for two consecutive months, but if he fails to do so then, it remains a debt on him until he either fulfills his vow, or dies. In case of his death, his guardian is supposed to fast on his behalf, or donate food from his estate in return for fasting, but if the guardian fails to do so then, it is all in the Hands of Allah.
Is it permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer?
Yes, it is permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer.
Is touching a non-Mahram woman invalidates person's ablution?
Touching non-Mahram woman is prohibited, and according to the Shafiee's, it invalidates the ablution. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it a condition that the meat of the Eid sacrifice should be distributed in order for the sacrifice to be accepted by Allah?
The poor and needy should be given from that sacrifice , even if it be a small portion,(One kilo for example) as raw meat so that they would cook it the way they want. The remainder of that sacrifice is either distributed, eaten, or offered to people in a banquette .