Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it permissible for the wife to give the Zakah (obligatory charity) of her money to her poor husband?
Yes, it is permissible for the wife to give from the Zakah of her money to her poor husband. And Allah Knows Best.
If the fasting of nine years has accumulated upon me, I wish to make them up by dividing them over several years, as it is difficult to fast them all in one year due to their large number. Consequently, expiation will be due on me. Is it permissible to pay the expiation after completing all the make-up fasts, even if it takes years?
If the fasting was broken due to a valid legal excuse, it is permissible to divide the make-up fasts over several years based on one’s ability. However, if a person passes away before completing the make-up fasts, the heirs must fast on their behalf or feed one needy person for each missed day.
If the fasting was broken without a valid excuse, one must hasten to make it up. Should the person die before completing the make-up fasts, the heirs must either fast or feed the needy on their behalf. As for the expiation, it is calculated after completing all the make-up fasts. And Allah Knows Best.
Talking to one's fiancée in Ramadan with romantic talk may lead to arousal, and if pre-ejaculate fluid (Madhy) is discharged as a result, it does not break the fast. However, it is advised to avoid actions that provoke desire and lead to this outcome. If semen (Mani) is discharged as a result, it does break the fast.
The discharge of Madhy doesn't invalidate one's fasting but it invalidates the ablution and his clothes must be washed because they are impure in this case. As for Mani, it breaks one's fast and making up invalidataed is obligatory, beside; a Muslim suitor should abstain from these matters during Ramadan and not to degrade the holy month to this extent. And Allah Knows Best.
