Is it permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer?
Yes, it is permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer.
Is it permissible to say: "O Allah, by the status of the saints and the righteous, and our master Muhammad, peace be upon him, grant us the ability to reach Ramadan"?
What is mentiond by the righteous predecessors that they used to say: "O Allah bless us in Shaba'an and Rajab and give us the ability to reach Ramadan." [Shoa'ab Al-Iman/vol.3/pp.375]. And Allah Knows Best.
How many prostrations of Quranic recital are there, and is it permissible not to offer them while reciting?
There is one prostration for the Quranic recital, and it is a Sunnah for which one is rewarded upon offering it. However, one who doesn`t isn`t punished. Therefore, those who fail to offer it aren`t considered sinful, rather they deprive themselves from the reward.
Is it allowed to shave my beard to join the army taking into consideration that I can`t find a job?
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
The army should be joined in preparation for Jihad (Fighting in the cause of Allah), so if Jihad contradicts with growing a beard then it is allowed to shave it. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.