Is the `Iddah (waiting period) of the divorced effective from the time the divorce took place, or from the time of registering it at the court?

It is considered effective from the very moment her divorce took place, but not from the time of registering it at the court. And Allah Knows Best.

I`m in love with a certain man, and want to marry him in particular, but my family refused that, what should I do?

How should a person who is afflicted with continued major ritual impurity (incontinence of urine, bleeding outside the monthly period) perform ablution?

Such a person should make ablution for every prayer after its due time and after removing impurities from their body and outfit, and should place a fresh diaper whenever needed so as for the impurity not to spread out. They should also perform prayer immediately even if incontinence of urine continued, and should repeat the aforementioned for every obligatory prayer, then perform optional prayer as much as they want.

What should a person, who doubts the validity of his Wudu, or over performs it, do?

One who doubts the validity of his/her Wudu while performing it should redo it until he/she is certain of having attained purity. But, if doubt was after having performed Wudu, then he/she should not pay attention to that as doubt after the end of an act of worship does not count. This is of course in case doubt was within the reasonable limits since once it goes beyond that, it becomes a whispering of the Shaytaan (devil) which he/she should ignore as the Wudu is valid.