Is it permissible for a woman to wear underwear while performing Umrah?

Yes, it is permissible for a woman to wear underwear while performing Umrah. This is because she should keep her regular clothes that cover all her body while being in a state of Ihram (ritual consecration) for Hajj, or Umrah. However, she should uncover her face and hands, but it is permissible for her to let her head-covering garment drape from her head down over her face when non-Mahram (i.e., marriageable) men pass by her. And Allah Knows Best.

Do certain vaginal discharges and incontinence of urine nullify ablution, and should underwear be changed?

A person afflicted with constant impurity due to urinary incontinence and vaginal discharges is obliged to make ablution for every obligatory prayer when its time is due, and after removing Najaasah (impurity), and wearing a clean diaper. He/she is obliged to pray immediately even if the impurity is being released, and he/she is obliged to remake ablution, and the aforementioned for every obligatory prayer.

After I had prayed, I found a drop of menstrual blood and was unsure when that happened; what is the ruling on my prayer and fast?

All praise is due to Allah, peace and blessing be upon the Messenger of Allah.

Your prayer and fast are correct ,and you should not make up for them, and we ask Allah, The Almighty, to duely reward you for these acts of worship. Your menses start once you see blood because the situation remains as such unless there is certainty or predominant conjecture, as per the Fiqh maxim: "Certainty is not removed by doubt". And Allah Knows Best.

Should one obey his mother even if she was wrong?

Obeying one`s mother is an obligation in matters that are beneficial to her and so long as she didn't drive her children to commit an act of sin.