Does touching one's wife invalidate ablution?
Touching the wife according to the Shafi'ee's doctrine invalidate husband's ablution. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a woman to swear a false oath by the Holy Quran to please her distrustful husband?
It is forbidden for a person to do so since this is considered a false oath (Yamaan Ghamoos) which dips (Yaghmos) its taker in Hellfire if he/she doesn`t seek repentance, and he/she has to expiate for that oath. You should avoid any doubtful acts so that your husband`s chest remains clear from the evil suggestions of the devil.
What is teh ruling on thoughtless oath?
One who swears by Allah unintentionally and isn`t determined to fulfill his oath, nothing is due on him. Allah, The Almighty, Says (What means): "God will not call you to account for thoughtlessness in your oaths, but for the intention in your hearts; and He is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing." [Al-Baqarah/225]. However, it is dispraised for a Muslim to swear frequently.
Is it permissible for a Muslim to slaughter an Aqeeqah on behalf of someone else, and offer it to him as a gift?
In principle, the guardian is the one who should offer the Aqeeqah (the sheep slaughtered on the seventh day from the child`s birth) because he is obliged to provide for the newborn, and it is impermissible for anyone else to slaughter it on his behalf unless with his consent. However, it is permissible for a person to offer the sheep, or its price as a gift to the guardian of the newborn, and then the latter can slaughter it, or deputies someone else to do that on his behalf.