Is the one who gives up on marriage because he can`t afford it considered sinful?
Marriage is desirable, but one who can`t afford it isn`t considered sinful. However, he should supplicate to Allah, and seek His forgiveness.
Is it permissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law?
It is impermissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law, and it is also impermissible for a person to have a Khulwa (seclusion) with his sister-in-law.
Is it incumbent on the fiancée to obey her fiancé?
When the woman settles in her husband`s house, it is incumbent on him to provide for her and it is incumbent on her to obey him. Before that, and if the marriage contract had been concluded, then she is lawfully his wife and thus she should abide by custom in treating him, but if the marriage contract hadn`t been concluded, then she should treat him as a non-Mahram (Marriageable).
Is it permissible for a financially capable woman to pay the Zakat to her sons or one of them?
It is permissible for a mother to give her children from zakat if they are eligible to receive it, even though she is obligated to provide for them. This is based on the saying of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) regarding Zainab, the wife of Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with them): "Your husband and your children are more deserving of your charity" [Al-Bukhari]. And Allah Knows Best.