Is it obligatory for a wife who has been abandoned for many years to observe the waiting period (iddah) after her husband passes away?

If her husband passes away, the wife is required to observe the waiting period (Iddah), even if he had abandoned her, because she is his wife and inherits from him, so she must observe the iddah after his death. And Allah Knows Best.

Is it permissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law?

It is impermissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law, and it is also impermissible for a person to have a Khulwa (seclusion) with his sister-in-law.

Is it allowed to shave my beard to join the army taking into consideration that I can`t find a job?

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

The army should be joined in preparation for Jihad (Fighting in the cause of Allah), so if Jihad contradicts with growing a beard then it is allowed to shave it. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.  

Is there a solution to put an end to thinking of worries during prayer?

Firstly, make ablution after the time for prayer begins and busy yourself with remembering Allah, The Exalted, before the iqaamah (start of prayer).In order to become humbly submissive during prayer, you must perform prayer in congregation. After the prayer ends, stay in your place and read the post-prayer remembrances (Adhkaar) and make supplication to Allah, The Exalted.