After I had prayed, I found a drop of menstrual blood and was unsure when that happened; what is the ruling on my prayer and fast?
All praise is due to Allah, peace and blessing be upon the Messenger of Allah.
Your prayer and fast are correct ,and you should not make up for them, and we ask Allah, The Almighty, to duely reward you for these acts of worship. Your menses start once you see blood because the situation remains as such unless there is certainty or predominant conjecture, as per the Fiqh maxim: "Certainty is not removed by doubt". And Allah Knows Best.
Is performing Umrah an obligation for who is capable. Is he accountable for not performing it in this case?
Umrah is an obligation once in a lifetime for every Muslim. When physical and financial ability is present, it is preferable to perform Umrah, as well as Hajj. If one can afford to perform Umrah but not Hajj, then they should begin with Umrah, especially since Hajj nowadays is not accessible to everyone who wishes to perform it. In contrast, Umrah is more open and easier to undertake. And Allah knows best.
Is it incumbent on a family to provide for its old handicapped son and take care of him?
The family and relatives - e.g. brothers - of such a person are obliged to spend on him and take care of him if he didn`t have money of his own.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.