Is Iddah (waiting period) incumbent on an old woman whose husband had died?
Upon the death of the husband, Iddah is incumbent on the wife regardless of their age. And Allah Knows Best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
What is the ruling on determining the sex of the baby whether through killing the female spermatozoa, or any other way in order to have a male?
If it is done through having a certain type of food, taking a certain type of medication, or organizing the time of the marital relation, then it is permissible.
Is it permissible for a menopausal woman who has blood discharges to fast?
If she reached the age of menopause, and her menses stopped, but later she saw blood discharges that lasted a complete day and night (24) hours, then it is menstrual blood. Still, if these blood discharges lasted less than a complete day and night (24) hours, then it is not menstrual blood, but it is bleeding outside the monthly period (Istihadah), and it does not prevent her from prayer and fast, but she has to make ablution for every prayer.