Is it permissible to openly announce the engagement of a woman who is in her waiting period (iddah)?
It is not permissible to openly announce the engagement of a woman in her waiting period (Iddah), but it is permissible to hint (imply) at it if she is in her waiting period after the death of her husband. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
Is it permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer?
Yes, it is permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer.
Generally speaking, I`m dutiful to my mother and opt for obeying her. However, she chose a certain girl to be my future wife, but I`m not pleased with her choice although that girl comes from a good family and enjoys good character. Should I obey my mother or choose another girl that lives up to my expectations?
Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.
One must obey their parents in whatever is in compliance with the teachings of Sharia and within one`s capacity. However, you aren`t to blame for not marrying that girl, but it is better that you tell your mother about that and it is preferable that you perform Istikharah prayer. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.