What should the one performing the slaughter say at the time of slaughtering the 'aqīqah?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is Sunnah to say the following supplication at the time of slaughtering the 'aqīqah:
"Bismillāhi wallāhu Akbar, Allāhumma laka wa ilayka, hādhihi 'aqīqatu fulān."
("In the name of Allah, and Allah is the Greatest. O Allah, this is for You and unto You — this is the 'aqīqah of [the child's name].")
This is based on what al-Bayhaqī narrated in Al-Sunan al-Kubrā (Vol.9/P.511), that the Prophet ﷺ said: "Slaughter it in his name and say: In the name of Allah, and Allah is the Greatest. O Allah, this is for You and unto You — this is the 'aqīqah of so-and-so."
And Allah Almighty knows best.
What is the ruling on wiping the white area behind the ears instead of wiping the head?
The obligation in ablution is to wipe some of the head; it is not a condition to wipe all of it. Wiping the white area behind the ears suffices for that. And Allah the almighty knows best.
Is it permissible to appoint a proxy for the sacrificial offering outside Jordan?
In the name of Allah; all praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible to appoint a proxy—whether an individual or a charitable organization—to perform the sacrificial slaughter (Udhiyah) on one’s behalf, even if it is carried out in a country other than that of the donor. This is conditional upon the proxy’s adherence to the established requirements of the Udhiyah, including the animal’s age, its freedom from physical defects, the designated timing of the slaughter, and the proper distribution of the meat.
However, it is preferable for the one offering the sacrifice to perform the slaughter personally, in order to attain the full reward and blessings of the act. And Allah (Exalted be He) knows best.
What is the best manner in distributing the meat of the Aqeeqah?
It is better to divide all of it as cooked meat amongst the poor and the needy. Dividing it into three portions is a Sunnah, but it is permissible to keep all of it provided that a portion, even a small one, is given to the poor and needy (one kilo for example).