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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Should I pick up the newspapers thrown at the street because they definitely contain sacred names?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) says: "Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you." Part of this is protecting whatever contains the name of Allah. Therefore, if you see a paper containing Allah's name thrown in the street, then you should grab it and similar papers, then burn them in a clean place. Doing so is permissible because Othman (May Allah be pleased with him) has burnt copies of the Quran which didn`t match the main Mus-haf. However, you aren`t required to collect every paper in the street. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Is wearing a cap permissible for boys, or girls?

All Perfect Praise is due to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds.

In principle, anything is permissible sol long as there is no Sharia evidence prohibiting it, thus wearing the cap by boys is permissible as long as it isn`t done in imitation of the disbelievers. Moreover, a Muslim woman should avoid all that which attracts the attention of men because whatever leads to the forbidden is forbidden. And Allah Knows Best.

After I was ran over, I had cracked ribs, concussion, a tension pneumothorax, and retired as a result. What is the amount of the Diya?

All praise is due to Allah the Lord of the worlds. May the blessings of Allah be upon our Master and Prophet Muḥammad and his pure progeny.
 
What you have mentioned requires a detailed medical report since the benefit of every organ that you have lost deserves a full Diya (In Islamic law, Diya is the financial compensation paid to the victim or heirs of a victim in the cases of accidental murder, bodily harm or property damage). Moreover, the decrease in the benefit of some organs has to be assessed by expert doctors and allocated a percentage from the Diya accordingly. Therefore, we advise you to refer the matter to the courts or reconcile with the driver and forgive him so that Allah may forgive you. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

I have been married for five years. My husband has two sons from his first marriage. Nevertheless, I took care of his children, and gave birth to a baby boy who is now three years old. Unfortunately, we keep fighting all the time; sometimes over his two sons and sometimes over his family. If I serve his family members and praise them, he treats me kindly. If I don`t, he turns my life into living hell. What should I do?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.

Spouses should live with each other on a footing of kindness and equity. In your case, constructive dialogue is the best course of action. We advise you to be patient, commit your affair to Allah and ask Him to help you. We also recommend that you seek the help of the people of goodness and make them fix things between you and your husband. If all attempts for reconciliation fail then go to court, but we remind you that a problem, which could be solved with a beautiful word, is no problem at all, so praise family and children and try your best to win their hearts. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.