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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on deliberately breaking the fast while being capable of fasting?

Whoever intentionally breaks their fast in Ramadan without a valid excuse has committed a major sin and bears great guilt. They must repent, seek forgiveness, refrain from eating and drinking for the rest of the day, and make up for that day after Ramadan.
They have lost an immense reward, which cannot be compensated even by fasting an entire lifetime as a voluntary act, because an obligatory fast cannot be equaled by voluntary fasting.
If the fast was broken through sexual intercourse, the person must:
● Make up for the missed fast (qada), and
● Perform kaffarah by fasting two consecutive months.
● If they are unable to do so, they must feed sixty needy people.

How is the meat of the 'aqīqah to be distributed?

All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
If the 'aqīqah is a recommended one (mandūbah), it is obligatory to give some portion of it in charity to the poor — even if the amount is small — with the minimum being approximately half a kilogram of meat.
The most preferable manner of distribution is to divide it into three equal portions, as with the uḍḥiyyah:
 
One third for the guardian and his household to eat from
One third to be given in charity to the poor
One third to be gifted to friends and neighbours, even if they are wealthy
 
It is furthermore more preferable to send the food to the poor already cooked, rather than inviting them to come and eat. And Allah Almighty knows best.

Is it valid to have Suhoor before sleeping, even if it is before midnight?

Suhoor refers to the pre-dawn meal eaten after midnight to help a Muslim endure fasting. The closer it is to Fajr, the better.
The Prophet ﷺ said: "My Ummah will remain upon goodness as long as they hasten to break the fast and delay Suhoor." [Narrated by Ahmad]
This is because delaying Suhoor makes it more effective in providing strength for worship. However, if there is a risk of Fajr entering while eating, one should refrain from Suhoor out of caution. 
The Prophet ﷺ said: "Leave what makes you doubt for what does not make you doubt." [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi]

Is it valid to share in the 'aqīqah by contributing a seventh share of a camel or cow?

All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
Yes, it is permissible. If a group of people jointly share in the slaughter of a camel or a cow on behalf of seven individuals, this is valid — regardless of whether all of them intend the 'aqīqah, or some intend the 'aqīqah, others the uḍḥiyyah, and others simply the purchase of meat. And Allah Almighty knows best.