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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for a wife to leave her house without obtaining the permission of her husband, and not to come back unless he divorces her co-wife?

It is forbidden for the wife to leave without obtaining her husband`s permission, and it is impermissible for her to ask him to divorce her co-wife as this inflicts harm on the latter and such an act is forbidden in Islamic law.

I have a question regarding the deferred portion of the dowry (Mahr)*. Is the wife entitled to it only upon divorce or she can claim it even if divorce hasn`t taken place? Moreover, does she have the right to claim this portion after death of husband, even if he didn`t divorce her before that?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
In the marriage contract, it is recorded that the deferred portion of the dowry is due upon divorce or death, whatever comes first. If divorce took place first then the woman is entitled to it and if the husband died this amount must be paid from his estate. On the other hand, if the woman died then the husband becomes liable for this portion and it becomes part of the woman`s estate. We advise every husband to give this portion to his wife while alive because it is a right of hers. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* In Islam, a Mahr is the obligation, in the form of money or possessions paid by the groom, to the bride at the time of Islamic marriage (payment also has circumstances on when and how to pay). While the mahr is often money, it can also be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a dwelling or some land. Mahr is typically specified in the marriage contract signed upon marriage.

What is the ruling of Sharia on woman shaking hands with non-Mahram man?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "It is better to be stabbed in the head than touch a woman to whom one isn`t related." [Transmitted by Al-Tabarani /Al-Mo`jam Al-Kabir, Hadith No.16880]. Accordingly, it is forbidden for men to shake hands with non-Mahram* woman. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
 
 
* The women/men that you are allowed to marry. It includes all women/men other than mahram (including cousins).

My husband wanted to sell a piece of land that was his own, but his father insisted that he transfer the land in his (the father’s) name so that he could sell it at a higher price. Then, my husband and his father would split the price. After my father-in-law sold the land, he denied everything and refused to acknowledge my husband’s right. My father-in-law passed away a year ago, and my husband’s brothers divided the inheritance, refusing to acknowledge that this land was a trust held by their father for my husband until it was sold. Are they sinful for knowingly denying that the land belongs to my husband, and what is the ruling on praying against them?
 
 
 
 
 

All perfect praise be to Alalh, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.
Among the rights of the deceased upon their heirs are: preparing them for burial at death, settling their debts, returning people’s rights to them, executing their will, and then dividing their estate. What was mentioned in the question falls under the rights of others, even if they are among the heirs, and the deceased is not absolved of it unless it is returned to its rightful owners. This is because Allah, Almighty, forbids consuming others' wealth/properties unjustly. However, do not give up on seeking a solution by involving righteous and well - respected individuals who may have influence over them, in the hope that Allah guides them to goodness and correctness. As for supplicating against them, the prayer of the oppressed is not rejected, even if the oppressed person is not a Muslim. And Allah knows best.