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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the meaning of the Prophetic statement that a boy is held in pledge (murtahan) for his 'aqīqah?

All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
The first interpretation: That if the boy dies in infancy without an 'aqīqah having been performed on his behalf, he will not intercede for his parents on the Day of Resurrection. This is the position of Imam Aḥmad ibn Ḥanbal, and Imam al-Khaṭṭābī concurred with him, stating: "The finest of what has been said regarding this matter is the position adopted by Aḥmad ibn Ḥanbal." — [Fatḥ al-Bārī by Ibn Ḥajar,{Vol.9/P.594]
The second interpretation: That the child is likened to a pledged object (marhūn) — one from which full benefit and enjoyment cannot be derived until it is redeemed. A blessing is only made complete upon the one blessed when they fulfil the obligation of gratitude (shukr), and the prescribed expression of gratitude for this particular blessing is what the Prophet ﷺ established as Sunnah — namely, the slaughtering of the 'aqīqah on behalf of the newborn as an act of thankfulness to Allah the Almighty and as a supplication for the wellbeing and safety of the child. This is the position of Mullā 'Alī al-Qārī. See: [Mirqāt al-Mafātīḥ Sharḥ Mishkāt al-Maṣābīḥ, Vol.7/P.2688]
And Allah Almighty knows best.

Is it permissible for a husband to sell his wife`s jewelry if he was in a hard up?

A woman`s jewelry and dowry are her own property, and it is forbidden for the husband to take either without obtaining her approval. However, it is desirable for the wife to support her husband through considering her jewelry a sort of documented debt on him.

What is the ruling on praying in congregation at the mosque?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
Congregational prayer (Salat al-Jama‘ah) is a communal obligation (Fard Kifayah) for resident men regarding the performance of the prescribed (obligatory) prayers. For men, praying in congregation at the mosque is better than praying elsewhere, such as at home. On the authority of Abdullah bin Umar, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: 'Prayer in congregation is twenty-seven degrees more excellent than the prayer of a person alone' (Reported by Bukhari & Muslim). Furthermore, on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: 'Shall I not tell you that by which Allah erases sins and raises ranks?' They said, 'Of course, O Messenger of Allah.' He said: 'Performing wudu thoroughly despite difficulties, taking many steps toward the mosques, and waiting for the next prayer after the prayer; that is your Ribat (steadfastness)' (Narrated by Muslim).
 
As for a woman, her praying in congregation at home is better for her than in the mosque, according to the saying of our Master the Prophet ﷺ: 'Do not prevent your women from attending the mosques, but their homes are better for them' (Narrated by Abu Dawood). Young boys should be encouraged to attend the mosques and congregational prayers so they may become accustomed to them. And Allah the Exalted knows best.

Is it permissible to purchase the Udhiyah on installments?

It is permissible to purchase the sacrificial animal (uḍḥiyyah) on installments or by borrowing its price. However, it is not recommended for the poor to do so, because they are not required to offer a sacrifice, and Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity. If doing so would lead to negligence in providing for one's dependents (nafaqah wājibah), then giving precedence to obligatory maintenance over borrowing to buy the sacrifice is appropriate. This is based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "It is sufficient sin for a person to withhold food from those whom he is responsible to support."
 
Furthermore, the sacrifice is valid from one who has a debt, but it is preferable (awlā) to repay the debt first, especially if the debt is due immediately (ḥāll). And Allah Almighty knows best.