Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the Iddah period upon death of husband? What is the ruling when the woman observing Iddah after death of husband leaves her home to visit relatives although her Iddah hasn`t ended? What is the ruling on her wearing gold during Iddah period?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
For a woman whose husband has died, the 'Iddah*  is four months and ten days after the death of her husband. If a woman is pregnant, the 'Iddah lasts until she gives birth. Moreover, she has to mourn, not wear gold, perfume nor saffron-colored garment. The evidence on this is that The Prophet (PBUH) said: "It is not lawful for a Muslim woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for more than three days, except for her husband, for whom she should mourn for four months and ten days." [Agreed upon]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
 
*The iddah is a waiting period that a Muslim woman observes after the death of her husband or after a divorce. The Quran says: For those men who die amongst you and leave behind wives, they (the wives) must confine themselves (spend iddah) for four months and ten days.

What is the ruling on looking at pictures of naked women via the internet?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is impermissible to look at pictures of naked women via the internet, and this act is forbidden according to Sharia. The proof of this is that Almighty Allah Says (What means): "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And God is well acquainted with all that they do." [An-Nur/30]. Therefore, we advise you to busy yourself with offering acts of obedience that draw you closer to Allah and prepare yourself for meeting Him on The Day of Judgment. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

I am a wholesale gold trader. My clients are retail gold shop owners. I sell them gold jewelry and ornaments on credit, and they repay me in weekly installments over a period of two months or more. The payments are made in cash for the labor charges and for the gold they owe me. In return, they may give me either cash or used gold.
 

It is not permissible to sell gold or silver on an installment basis or with a deferred payment; rather, immediate exchange is required. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "Gold for gold, silver for silver, wheat for wheat, barley for barley, dates for dates, and salt for salt, like for like, hand to hand. Whoever gives more or asks for more has engaged in usury; the giver and receiver are the same in this regard." (Muslim). Additionally, the weight of the gold must be equal when exchanging new for used; otherwise, it involves usury. The solution is to buy the used gold with cash, then sell the new gold for cash as well. However, payment must be made at the time of the transaction in both cases. Alternatively, one could take the used gold with the intention of refining it, reshape it into a new form, or repair it, then take a fee for the workmanship or repair. And Allah Knows Best

What is the ruling when the monthly period when exceeding (15) days?

The maximum duration of menstruation is 15 days. If it exceeds this, it is considered irregular bleeding (Istihada). In this case, one must perform ghusl (Ritual bath) after menstruation, pray, and make wudu for each prayer after its time begins. She should return to her previous menstrual habit regarding duration and timing. For example, if her period used to be from the 20th to the 27th of each month, this is considered her menstruation period. Anything before or after this is Istihada, during which she only leaves prayer and fasting for the habitual menstrual days, then performs ghusl and resumes praying.