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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for the woman who is observing Iddah after her husband`s death to sit with her daughter`s suitor, although their marriage contract hasn`t been concluded yet?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
A suitor who hasn`t concluded the marriage contract isn`t a Mahram*, so he must be treated as such. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* The period a woman must observe after the death of her husband or after a divorce, during which she may not marry another man.
* In Islam, a mahram is a member of one's family with whom marriage would be considered haram, concealment purdah, or concealment of the body with hijab, is not obligatory; and with whom, if he is an adult male, she may be escorted during a journey, although an escort may not be obligatory.

How should a person who is afflicted with continued major ritual impurity (incontinence of urine, bleeding outside the monthly period) perform ablution?

Such a person should make ablution for every prayer after its due time and after removing impurities from their body and outfit, and should place a fresh diaper whenever needed so as for the impurity not to spread out. They should also perform prayer immediately even if incontinence of urine continued, and should repeat the aforementioned for every obligatory prayer, then perform optional prayer as much as they want.

Is it permissible for a woman to leave her house wearing brightly colored clothing?

Brightly colored clothing is of woman's adornments, however; and this shouldn't be revealed save to her husband and Mahrams. And Allah Knows Best.

After I was ran over, I had cracked ribs, concussion, a tension pneumothorax, and retired as a result. What is the amount of the Diya?

All praise is due to Allah the Lord of the worlds. May the blessings of Allah be upon our Master and Prophet Muḥammad and his pure progeny.
 
What you have mentioned requires a detailed medical report since the benefit of every organ that you have lost deserves a full Diya (In Islamic law, Diya is the financial compensation paid to the victim or heirs of a victim in the cases of accidental murder, bodily harm or property damage). Moreover, the decrease in the benefit of some organs has to be assessed by expert doctors and allocated a percentage from the Diya accordingly. Therefore, we advise you to refer the matter to the courts or reconcile with the driver and forgive him so that Allah may forgive you. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.