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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is the father a Mahram (Non-marriageable) to his son`s mother-in-law?

The father is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to his son`s mother-in-law, so it is impermissible for them to look at each other, or to have a seclusion (Khalwah).

When does the time for Udhiyah begin?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
The time for Udhiyah (sacrificial offering) begins once the sun has risen on the day of Eid al-Adha—which is the tenth of Dhul-Hijjah—and a period of time has passed equivalent to two brief prayer units (Raka'at) and two brief sermons (Khutbah). It then continues until the sunset of the last of the days of Tashreeq, which are the eleventh, twelfth, and thirteenth of Dhul-Hijjah.
 
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "All the mountain passes of Mina are places of sacrifice, and in all the days of Tashreeq there is slaughtering." [Narrated by Al-Bayhaqi and Ibn Hibban].
 
The best time to slaughter is after finishing the Eid prayer, due to the saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him):
 
"Indeed, the first thing we begin with on this day of ours is to pray, then we return and slaughter. Whoever does that has attained our Sunnah, and whoever slaughters before [the prayer], it is only meat he has presented to his family; it is not part of the ritual sacrifice (Nusuk) in any way." [ٌReported by Bukhari & Muslim].
 
It is valid to sacrifice at any time, whether by night or by day; however, it is disliked (Makruh) at night. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What are the conditions that must be met for the 'aqīqah to be valid?

All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
The 'aqīqah is like the recommended uḍḥiyyah in terms of the type of animal, its age, and its required characteristics — since it is a recommended slaughter and therefore resembles the uḍḥiyyah in its rulings.
It is agreed upon without any difference of opinion that the 'aqīqah is not valid with any animal other than livestock (al-na'am — camels, cattle, and sheep). Likewise, an animal with a disqualifying defect — such as obvious illness, lameness, or blindness in one eye — does not suffice, as has previously been explained in the rulings of the uḍḥiyyah. And Allah Almighty knows best.

Does an internal medical examination for a woman affect her fast?

An internal medical examination for a woman invalidates the fast because it involves the entry of a foreign object into the body cavity (jauf) while fasting.
In this case, the woman must refrain from eating and drinking for the rest of the day out of respect for Ramadan and make up for the missed fast after Ramadan.
Such an examination should be avoided in Ramadan and other months unless absolutely necessary, as exposing the private parts is only permissible in cases of necessity.
If necessary, a woman should seek a Muslim female doctor first. If one is unavailable, she may see a female doctor from the People of the Book (Jews and Christians). If neither is available, she may consult a trustworthy and competent Muslim male doctor.