I`m a mother of three orphans. Is it permissible for me to spend on myself from their salary, such as buying a Jilbab*?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is permissible to take a reasonable amount that is equal to your services to them. However, it is better that you don`t. The evidence on this is that Almighty Allah Says (What means): "Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is God in taking account." [An-Nisa`/6]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* A full-length outer garment, traditionally covering the head and hands, worn in public by some Muslim women.
Is it incumbent on the fiancée to obey her fiancé?
When the woman settles in her husband`s house, it is incumbent on him to provide for her and it is incumbent on her to obey him. Before that, and if the marriage contract had been concluded, then she is lawfully his wife and thus she should abide by custom in treating him, but if the marriage contract hadn`t been concluded, then she should treat him as a non-Mahram (Marriageable).
Is it permissible for a mother to stop her daughter from marrying a respectable, God-fearing young man because he isn't college/university graduate?
It is impermissible to deny a woman her right in getting married except for a lawful reason, and problems can be solved through dialogue. However, she can file a suit in order for the judge to have a say in that regard.
Zakah due on a woman`s jewelry?
Obligatory Zakah (obligatory charity) isn`t due on a woman`s jewelry used for adornment, provided that the value of each piece is within the range amongst common market price. And Allah Knows Best.