Is it permissible for a woman to conclude her marriage without the approval of her family?
No marriage is permissible without the presence of a guardian and two trust worthy witnesses, and the woman whose family had denied her right in getting married to a God-fearing, financially and physically capable man should go to the court.
If the menses lasted for over than 9 to 10 days, considered menstruation?
If the duration of the bleeding does not exceed fifteen days, it is all considered menstruation, even if the usual pattern changes.
Should a person feel pleased, or have a virtuous vision after offering Istikhara (guidance prayer) in order to do what he/she had offered it for?
The result of the Istikhaarah is not necessarily that a person sees something (in his dream), or feels pleased, but the most important result of the Istikhaarah is whether a person is enabled to do a given matter or not.
What is the torment of the grave?
We seek refuge in Allah from the torment of the grave. The important point is that the cause of the torment of the grave is disbelief or committing sins without repentance. It affects the soul, and the body is impacted by it, even if we do not see it. And Allah Knows Best.