Does touching one's wife invalidate ablution?
Touching the wife according to the Shafi'ee's doctrine invalidate husband's ablution. And Allah Knows Best.
Talking to one's fiancée in Ramadan with romantic talk may lead to arousal, and if pre-ejaculate fluid (Madhy) is discharged as a result, it does not break the fast. However, it is advised to avoid actions that provoke desire and lead to this outcome. If semen (Mani) is discharged as a result, it does break the fast.
The discharge of Madhy doesn't invalidate one's fasting but it invalidates the ablution and his clothes must be washed because they are impure in this case. As for Mani, it breaks one's fast and making up invalidataed is obligatory, beside; a Muslim suitor should abstain from these matters during Ramadan and not to degrade the holy month to this extent. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible to make ablution without answering the call of nature after waking up?
Washing front and back openings (Istinjaa`) is not a condition for the validity of ablution because it is done to remove Najaasah (impurity), thus if there is no Najaasah, there is no need for that, and then it is permissible to make ablution without answering the call of nature. However, prayer is invalidated if there is Najaasah on the anus ,or the front opening, so it (Najaasah) must be removed for the prayer to become valid, and not the ablution.
Do certain vaginal discharges and incontinence of urine nullify ablution, and should underwear be changed?
A person afflicted with constant impurity due to urinary incontinence and vaginal discharges is obliged to make ablution for every obligatory prayer when its time is due, and after removing Najaasah (impurity), and wearing a clean diaper. He/she is obliged to pray immediately even if the impurity is being released, and he/she is obliged to remake ablution, and the aforementioned for every obligatory prayer.