Generally speaking, I`m dutiful to my mother and opt for obeying her. However, she chose a certain girl to be my future wife, but I`m not pleased with her choice although that girl comes from a good family and enjoys good character. Should I obey my mother or choose another girl that lives up to my expectations?
Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.
One must obey their parents in whatever is in compliance with the teachings of Sharia and within one`s capacity. However, you aren`t to blame for not marrying that girl, but it is better that you tell your mother about that and it is preferable that you perform Istikharah prayer. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
Is it true that if a ritually impure, or a menstruating woman visits one who is in confinement, harm will be inflicted on the latter, or her baby?
This is completely wrong and unfounded piece of information.
Is Iddah (waiting period) incumbent on an old woman whose husband had died?
Upon the death of the husband, Iddah is incumbent on the wife regardless of their age. And Allah Knows Best.
Is washing both openings (Istinjaa`) a must before every ablution?
Washing the front and back openings (Istinjaa`) is a must in case they have an impurity, but if they do not, there is no need for that, and Istinjaa` is not a condition for the validity of ablution.