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Forbearance is the Basis for Dealing with Allah`s Creation
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 04-01-2021

Forbearance is the Basis for Dealing with Allah`s Creation

 

 

A group of people thinks that sternness, mercilessness, anger and violence embody strength or manhood and they give a person control over different situations, however, this is incorrect. In principle, forbearance, leniency and kindness are the basis for dealing with others and they bring hearts and minds together. Allah The Almighty Says (What means): "It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (their faults), and ask for (Allah's) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)." [Al-Imran/159]. Thus, kindness, leniency and forbearance pass on to the next generations and love bears the fruit of righteousness, which is the golden key for the hearts of all people.

 

Therefore, in several narrations, Prophet (PBUH) urged Muslims to observe forbearance and kindness when dealing with others. This is in order for a Muslim to have self-control and become a successful role model in his relations with others: in-laws, children, neighbors, and colleagues…etcetera. 'Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Whenever forbearance is added to something, it adorns it; and whenever it is withdrawn from something, it leaves it defective." [Moslim].

 

Moreover, 'Aisha (May Allah Be Pleased with her), the wife of Allah's Apostle (PBUH), reported that Allah's Messenger (PBUH) said: "'Aisha, verily Allah is Kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness)." [Moslim].

 

In addition, Jarir b. 'Abdullah (May Allah Be Pleased with him) reported Allah's Apostle (PBUH) as saying:

"He who is deprived of tenderly feelings is in fact deprived of good and he who is deprived of tenderly feelings is in fact deprived of good." [Moslim].

 

Since violence usually stems from anger, our Prophet (PBUH) forbade it and commanded us not to get angry. He (PBUH) said: "On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him): A man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): "Counsel me, so he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not become angry." The man repeated [his request for counsel] several times, and [each time] he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not become angry." [Al-Bukhari]. 

 

Furthermore, Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "The strong man is not the one who wrestles, but the strong man is in fact the one who controls himself in a fit of rage." [Al-Bukhari].

 

Kindness, leniency and forbearance are the bricks of healthy human relationships and each Muslim should maintain his different relations according to this scale. And Allah is the One Who Bestows all that is good. 

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible to divide the Aqeeqah amongst one`s brothers and family?

Giving a portion of the Aqeeqah, even a small one, to the poor and needy is obligatory, and if one`s brothers and family are among the needy then, they are more entitled to it, and this way it is a charity and an observation of kinship ties. However, if they aren`t needy then, it is permissible to give them from the Aqeeqah after giving the poor and needy their share.

A woman has asked her husband for Khulu`, her gold, deferred portion of the dowry and furniture. Is she entitled to that, knowing that her husband doesn`t want to divorce her?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Khulu`* can`t takes place save before a judge of Sharia and he has the authority to make the suitable decision in this matter. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* Khulu' is when parties agree to separate by way of consent, usually upon terms such as the wife agreeing to repay her Mahr (dowry) to the husband upon him agreeing to grant Talaq. The iddah period (waiting time after a divorce) of a woman who seeks a khula, is one menstrual cycle or one month if she is post-menopause i.e. ceased menstruating. This is to ensure she is not pregnant. This differs from when a man gives a talaq; the iddah period is three cycles or three months.

A person vowed to slaughter a sacrificial animal. Is he permitted to eat from it?

If the vowed sacrificial animal was for the sake of Allah, and the one who vowed didn't specify then its meat should be distributed only among the poor and needy similar to distributing Zakah of Al-Fiter so neither him nor his dependents permitted to eat from; however if his vow was to made a banquet and invititing his relatives and others; then he must bring up as much as he can from its meat for them. In addition, he is permitted to eat from it in a reasonable basis. And Allah Knows Best. 

My maternal aunt`s son is living abroad; however, both our families have recited Al-Fatehah declaring our engagement. We have been engaged for three months, but the marriage contract wasn`t concluded because he couldn`t come to Jordan since my mother and brothers are abroad. Is it allowed that he sees my picture without Hijab knowing that the marriage contract will be concluded at the first opportunity?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Betrothal is a promise to marry, so your betrothed is a stranger to you and isn`t permitted to look at you even through a picture. Once your marriage contract is concluded, you become husband and wife and he can look at you as much as he wants. Moreover, he may deputize his father to carry out the procedures of the marriage on his behalf. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

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