What is the ruling on istibra' and how is it performed?
Istibra' (cleansing from urine) is recommended. It is for a person to ensure that nothing remains of urine in its passage before performing istinja'. Its method is: to clear the throat (or cough slightly), shake the penis (meaning to pass fingers along it to expel any remaining urine if needed), and walk a few steps to the extent that one thinks nothing of urine remains if walking is needed. Each person knows his own nature best. The preferred opinion is that this differs among people. The objective is for one to think that nothing remains in the urinary passage that he fears will exit later. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
What is the ruling on wiping the head during ablution from behind a barrier like a headscarf (hijab)?
The obligation in ablution is to wipe some of the head; it is not a condition to wipe all of it. As for one who has a turban or headscarf on their head, it is permissible for them to wipe over it after wiping a part of their head in any place. This is easily done at the front of the head. This means the woman begins by wiping the front of her head from under the headscarf, then completes the wiping to the back of the head from over the headscarf. If the woman wipes over the headscarf on her head and the moisture reaches the scalp or some hair within the boundaries of the head, it suffices for wiping the head. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.
How do I deal with whispers (waswasa) in ablution and purification?
Whispers in ablution are from Satan, and the Muslim should not pay attention to them. He is not required to re-perform ablution or repeat washing a limb because of waswasa. He should always base his purification on its being valid. It is recommended for him to frequently say "La ilaha illa Allah" (There is no god but Allah), because Satan recoils when Allah is mentioned. And Allah the Almighty knows best.