What is the ruling on performing istinja' before every ablution?
Istinja' is not from the conditions for the validity of ablution. It is only obligatory for prayer when there is impurity from urine or stool on the private part, or if there is fear of the impurity spreading to the body or clothing. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for a woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law?
It is forbidden for the woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law because he isn`t a Mahram (unmarriageable) of hers.
Is it permissible for a husband to stop his wife from visiting her family?
A husband shouldn`t stop his wife from visiting her family, and it is disliked for him to do so because such an act makes them harbor feelings of hatred against him.
Which is better during the day in Ramadan: reciting the Quran or performing voluntary prayers?
A Muslim should establish a daily schedule for reciting the Quran in Ramadan.
Once they have completed their daily portion (known as a wird or hizb), they can engage in other acts of worship, including voluntary prayers (nawafil). Prayer itself is called "Quran", because a significant part of it involves reciting the Quran.
Allah says: "BE CONSTANT in [thy] prayer from the time when the sun has passed its zenith till the darkness of night, and [be ever mindful of its] recitation at dawn: for, behold, the recitation [of prayer] at dawn is indeed witnessed [by all that is holy]." [Al-Isra`/78]