Who is the one deemed "able" (al-qādir), for whom the uḍḥiyah (sacrificial offering) is sunnah?
All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
The one who is deemed "able" (al-qādir) [to perform the uḍḥiyah, i.e., the sacrifice] is someone who possesses wealth sufficient to acquire the sacrificial animal, over and above what is needed to cover his own living expenses and the living expenses of his wife and children — or of anyone else whose financial support (nafaqah) is legally obligatory upon him — for the day of ‘Eid and the three days of Tashrīq [that follow it], since this is the designated time period for the sacrifice. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.
Who is responsible for performing the aqiqah?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
The one upon whom the 'aqīqah is incumbent is whoever is obligated to financially maintain the newborn — whether the father, paternal grandfather, or mother. It is to be performed from their own wealth, not from the wealth of the newborn child.
As for one upon whom the financial maintenance of the newborn is not obligatory, they may not perform the 'aqīqah except with the permission of the one upon whom it is obligatory — namely, the father. And Allah Almighty knows best.
Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for one to shake hands with his uncle`s daughter?
No, it isn`t because he is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to her.
