What is the ruling on the ablution of one who touches his wife without a barrier?
In the Shafi'i school, a man's ablution is invalidated by touching his wife if their skins meet (in any place) without a barrier, whether the touch is intentional or accidental. An exception to this is touching hair, teeth, or nails; these do not invalidate ablution. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband (for sexual intercourse)?
It isn`t permissible for her to do so unless for a sound reason.
What is the ruling on istibra' and how is it performed?
Istibra' (cleansing from urine) is recommended. It is for a person to ensure that nothing remains of urine in its passage before performing istinja'. Its method is: to clear the throat (or cough slightly), shake the penis (meaning to pass fingers along it to expel any remaining urine if needed), and walk a few steps to the extent that one thinks nothing of urine remains if walking is needed. Each person knows his own nature best. The preferred opinion is that this differs among people. The objective is for one to think that nothing remains in the urinary passage that he fears will exit later. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Which is better in night prayer: long standing (Qiyam) or long prostration (Sujood)?
Long standing (Qiyam) is better in prayer. However, a Muslim should also observe tranquility and composure in their prayer.