Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Why was the exact date of Laylat al-Qadr concealed?
The wisdom behind this is to encourage Muslims to strive in worship throughout all the nights of Ramadan, or at least in the last ten nights. By doing so, they will earn the reward of observing Laylat al-Qadr as well as the reward of worshiping on other blessed nights.
What is the ruling on wiping the white area behind the ears instead of wiping the head?
The obligation in ablution is to wipe some of the head; it is not a condition to wipe all of it. Wiping the white area behind the ears suffices for that. And Allah the almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for one to shake hands with his uncle`s daughter?
No, it isn`t because he is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to her.