Is bleeding that lasts for nine or ten days considered menstruation (Hayd)?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
If the duration of the bleeding does not exceed fifteen days, then all of it is considered menstruation (Hayd), even if the regular cycle ('Adah) has changed. And Allah the Exalted knows best.
Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.
Where should a woman who is led by her husband in prayer stand?
All perfect praise be to Allah The Lord of The Worlds It is from Sunnah (Prophetic tradition) that she stands behind him. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law?
It is forbidden for the woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law because he isn`t a Mahram (unmarriageable) of hers.