How do I deal with whispers (waswasa) in ablution and purification?
Whispers in ablution are from Satan, and the Muslim should not pay attention to them. He is not required to re-perform ablution or repeat washing a limb because of waswasa. He should always base his purification on its being valid. It is recommended for him to frequently say "La ilaha illa Allah" (There is no god but Allah), because Satan recoils when Allah is mentioned. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for the young woman to turn the suitor down if she had no feelings for him?
Yes, it is permissible for her to do so.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
What is the ruling on a person in a state of major impurity (junub) walking or eating before performing the ritual bath?
It is from the Sunnah for a Muslim to hasten to perform the ritual bath for major impurity. However, if he delays it, he does not sin provided he does not miss the prayer. It is permissible for the junub to walk, eat, drink, and sleep. It is recommended for him to perform ablution before these actions to reduce the state of impurity, although the best is for him to perform the ritual bath. And Allah the Almighty knows best.