How do I deal with whispers (waswasa) in ablution and purification?
Whispers in ablution are from Satan, and the Muslim should not pay attention to them. He is not required to re-perform ablution or repeat washing a limb because of waswasa. He should always base his purification on its being valid. It is recommended for him to frequently say "La ilaha illa Allah" (There is no god but Allah), because Satan recoils when Allah is mentioned. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
What is the ruling of Islamic Law on applying perfume before entering the state of ihram
All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
Applying some perfume (ṭīb) before entering the state of iḥrām does not affect the validity of the Ihram, even if its trace remains after the iḥrām has begun. Indeed, it is sunnah for the pilgrim performing Ḥajj or ʿUmrah to perfume himself before iḥrām.
The scholar Nawawī al-Jāwī (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “The third of them is applying perfume to the body shortly before it, that is, before iḥrām, whether the one entering iḥrām is male or otherwise, young or old, married or unmarried. The recommendation applies after performing the ritual bath (ghusl), and it is fulfilled with any perfume whatsoever, though the best is musk, mixed with rose water or the like. There is no objection to the perfume remaining on the body after iḥrām; however, if a woman becomes bound by the mourning observance (iḥdād) after entering iḥrām, she must remove it. As for perfuming the garment, it is merely permissible, not recommended, according to the reliable position (al-muʿtamad). But if one removes his perfumed garment while the scent is still present in it and then wears it again, he is liable for the fidyah (expiation).” [Nihāyat al-Zayn, Vol.1/212]. And Allah Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband (for sexual intercourse)?
It isn`t permissible for her to do so unless for a sound reason.